Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
As shirtless as possible
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize