Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
