I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
