So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
