If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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