I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
