Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
