Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
