I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
