Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
