I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
