I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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