i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
