I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
