I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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