I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
