Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
