So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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