You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
