It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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