so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
