Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
