I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
