i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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