is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
