All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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