We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
