fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
