He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
