I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
