oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
