Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
