glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
