this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am mentally ready for anal.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
