omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
