I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
