i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
