My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
