i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
