Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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