So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
