two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
