Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize