i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How does one acquire holy water?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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