Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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