if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I love having hate sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
