Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
