You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
