I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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