chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
