Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
